Lapsus Calamiby Morgan Logan
lap·sus ca·la·mi n. slip of the pen
"
Starsky's Bedtime AlphabetArroomellephs with squishy feet
Will swallow only tender meat.
The
Bihnderbinch has jointed paws
And traps you with its sharpened claws.
Watch out for
Creefeelimoes Who slither close to chew your toes—"
"Starsky! Stop it." Hutch's face looked pained. "Just stop it. What the hell
is that you're reading?"
"It's a bedtime story I'm writing for my nephew." Starsky bent his head and licked his pen.
"
Doohoodlehumps are big and gray/They'll bite your nose and schlump away...."
"Jesus. You're gonna give the kid nightmares!"
"Nah." Starsky grinned. "It'll toughen him up."
Hutch groaned. "I don't want to hear the rest."
"But you haven't heard the best one." Starsky rattled his writing paper and cleared his throat.
"The
Hutchywubb will eat you whole/And make you wish he'd do it more."
Hutch rolled his eyes so hard the blues almost disappeared.
"Pretty good, huh? No one will ever figure it out, that's the best part."
"The meter is weak," Hutch said, sniffing. "Also, 'whole' doesn't go with 'more'."
"Depends on whose hole," said Starsky said slyly, making Hutch blush like crazy.
Later, Starsky put his pen to even more creative use.
Fin. Finitum. Done. Dammit.
[with apologies to Edward Gorey's
Gashlycrumb Tinies]